Friday, December 22, 2006

Zero Bids...but WHY ?

Check this guy's ebay listing for a Sony Playstation3

Starting bid: US $650.00

You are bidding on a Playstation 3 60 GB system. It comes with Talladega Nights staring John C. Reily. It'll ship as soon as the auction ends and WILL be there in time for Christmas.

For the parents who may be bidding on this system, you might be wondering why your child wants this so much. "Why spend so much? It's just a simple video game system, right?" Wrong. Here's just a few facts about the power of the Playstation 3:

1. Imagine gluing a Playstation 1 to a Playstation 2. Now double that amount of power. Now subtract the power of a Super Nintendo and you have a rough estimate of how powerful this thing is.

2. Playstation 3 is heavier than both an Xbox 360 and a Ninendo Wii. That is because it has more computer chips inside, which of course means it's more powerful.

3. Due do polymicroprocessors, Playstation 3 is the first system powerful enough to deliver 4-D graphics.

4. Sony successfully lobbied for an amendment to the constitution that allowed this much power, which the founding fathers feared would strengthen witches' magic.

5. Playstation 3 is so powerful that Sony officially announced it is more powerful than what Playstation 4 will be.

6. NASA replaced Kenedy Space Center with two Playstation 3s. It's not that a single Playstation 3 couldn't handle the job, it's just that they also wanted to watch Talladega Nights while working.

7. Playstation 3 has the processing power to make it appear as if animals or babies were talking. Until now, this awesome technology has only been available to movies, tv commercials and the super rich.

8. AWESOME GRAPHICS! (image of Mona Lisa here)

9. Beating a hooker in Grand Theft Auto on a Playstation 3 looks more realistic than beating a hooker in real life.

10. This is the first piece of equipment that Tim Allen officially declared "enough power."


1. For an extra $50, I will personally kiss your Playstation 3 for good luck right before shipping it to ensure an extra safe trip.
2. For an extra $200, I will play your Playstation 3 before shipping it to make sure it works.
3. At no additional cost, I will kick your Playstation 3.

Thank you for looking at my listing. I know you have what it takes to win this amazing machine. And remember, money is no object when it comes to bidding on eBay. Are you going to let some little bitch on the other side of the country outbid you and ruin your child's Christmas? That doesn't sound like the winner I know. You drive a Mercedes for Christ's sake! You don't have to take this sh*t! The winner I know would stop at nothing to win this auction so come Christmas morning, he could watch the excitement and suprise in his child's eyes before hearing "I already HAVE a Playstation 3. I wanted a dirt bike! I HATE YOU!" It's been a great doing business with you.


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