When it rains...

it keeps raining...now, add these to my list of woes (along with dying hard drive).

Something is wrong with some tooth on my right side. Before I left G.S., I spent $175 at the dentist just trying to figure out what and which tooth. He is a real high-tech guy and we did everything imaginable to isolate the problem. 3 Xrays, ultra-mini tv cameras, ice on each tooth individually, blow air on them , etc...Most of these teeth already have big gold crowns on them, some have already had root canals. He decided it might be sinus inflamation so gave me a Rx for round of Keflex and some weak pain pills. Not helping. I am sick of the vague migrating toothache.

THEN

as I am loading the car to leave, somehow, graceful as i am, i managed to lose my footing, wearing open beach shoes, going up the concrete steps and fall forward into the steps (arms loaded with stuff of course) and in doing so, I jammed my left foot big toe into the concrete step riser. Didn't break the toe. Just damaged the toenail. If Ihad wimpy, thin toenails, they'd just bend, but NO, I have horse hoof, thick, shiny toenails. They usually serve me well. But these guys don't bend or budge a bit, if they get a head on collision, they ram directly back into the drivers seat.

well...That was 2 days ago and my toenail is still throbbing. As I type this it is throbbing. Did I mention throbbing? And it is black. And the skin around it is red. And I cannot wear a sock, much less a closed toe shoe or boot. Isn't that just grand? It is mid-winter in Memphis Tennessee and i am barefoot. Mink coat and barefoot. That is how I will be, well, maybe flip flops. Maybe I can throw together some FUR flip-flops. Hot glue to the rescue. Maybe start a new fashion trend.

BUT

the last time I lost a big toenail, it took almost a whole year to re-grow the entire thing. And in the awful, losing-it stage, I had to protect it while it was half off and hanging by a super sensitive thread. And after it finally came on off, I had to buy Lee Press-On Nails and use teacher's putty to wear a fake big toenail because it looked sooooooo bad that the one day I didn't do that, I went to the post office in flip-flops and of course people stared, but what was worse, a mother grabbed her child and drew her close, so he wouldn't get any cooties from me. It looked that bad.

Then I went to the home of some interior decorator friends of the male type who had yappy little doggies ( I wanted to squish them), the dogs kept trying to lick my feet and all. Before leaving I looked down and MY FAKE TOENAIL WAS GONE ! I had to tell them that their stupid little insect-like dogs might have eaten my toenail, or that if they spotted it on the floor later....don't freak out....it is plastic...and I was forced to go into the whole discussion of wearing a fake toenail with these guys who were probably about to puke and really didn't need to know all that about me in the first place.

Soooooooo...here i go again...........I will lose the toenail, no doubt about it.
Now in a cold region this might not be such a big deal, but at the beach it is like having a mole with a hair growing from it on your nose. I wear nothing but sandals there or I get a weird tan.

Which brings me to this, I think the anti-skin cancer cream I put on my little flakey forehead spot may have actually worked. It is still red a bit but not flakey. And the treatment phase was not nearly as bad as I expected. (Didn't need the bangs, which didn't work out so great anyway--hair just kept on curling up and not behaving as bangs.)

I told my mom today that this Christmas stuff was just too hard on me and next year I might just skip altogether. I think she knew that I meant it.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Oh, my goodness. I am laughing so hard about the dog eating the toenail. Tell me, were they schnauzers??

Was this the newly injured toe?

One time I was at a party and a lady had one of her Lee Press On nails get lost in the onion dip.

You poor dear. Let's skip xmas together. We can sit here and take turns blogging and writing letters to the members of the independent boards of directors of whatever companies are bothering us at the moment.

I have high-speed access, but no printer connection, gotta fix that so I can write to my lovely friends at Dell who might be interested to know their company is going to hell in a handbasket, if my experience is at all indicitive of the way they treat other people. Here, I've complained to my 11 people (that's a statistical average), at least. Hope I don't get you sued Lundy.

But since I'm anonymous, that's your problem! Seriously, I am going to let go of it, as soon as I write my letters.

I think I'm going to send Michael Dell one of those big blow-up snowmen for xmas!

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